Change your behaviour - change your life
Change your behaviour - change your life
If you’re feeling depressed or low, the absolute gold standard towards beating the depression and getting better is something called Behavioural Activation (BA). In simple terms, it’s about deciding what matters to you, and then actually doing just that - in tiny, manageable steps.
An analogy that I often tell my clients is that while we can’t always control what we think and feel, we can always control what we do with our arms, legs and mouth. You can use this to your advantage. I’ve spoken about values before and I’m just going to reiterate these again: values are like your internal compass that points you towards what really matters to you in your life. So for example if one of your values is to be helpful, you would seek out opportunities to be helpful, such as dropping a meal off to a sick neighbour, or volunteer at the school or sports club. Values are something we never reach - we achieve small goals associated with the values along the way, but we never stop being that way.
Depression and low mood are self-fulfilling. If we sit around doing nothing, it will make us feel more depressed. Which will make us want to sit around more. Which will make us more depressed. Do you get what I mean? But the good news is that activating your behaviour is also self-fulfilling in the same way - if you decide to commit to action and do something towards a value, you will feel more satisfied with your life which will make you want to do more towards that value (or others).
It might feel odd at first, a little bit like “fake it till you make it”, but that’s far from the case. Only you get to choose your values and what small steps you are taking towards them. A more helpful view might be that your internal system simply needs to be reminded of what matters to you - and so the loop begins.
You are very unlikely to be just sitting around and get a lightening bolt of motivation to suddenly do something that matters. And this is more true, the longer you have been inactive. A neural pathway is something that is created in your brain the more you practice at something - and these can fade if you have not used that pathway for some time. Decide to commit to action to build that pathway back up - moving your arms, legs and mouth to achieve small but significant goals that lead towards what is important to you.
Still need more convincing? If this has been a problem for you for a while, actually what have you got to lose? I’m yet to hear anyone regret doing things that point to their own personal values. If you need more proof, try keeping a mood diary for a week or so - write briefly 3 times a day what activity you have undertaken, plus a rating out of 5 for your mood level. You and I already know that you are probably going to see a correlation between positive activity and mood.