Fast focused feelings for farmers (or anyone!)
Fast focused feelings for farmers (or anyone!)
When you pay attention on purpose to what is happening in the moment, you can learn how to surf the tidal wave of strong emotion rather than being swept away by it. If you are rural, you have an advantage over townies - read on to find out how.
When you feel as though your feelings, thoughts and emotions are out of control, you might try a lot of different things. Some not so good, like drinking, eating too much, drugs, sleeping too much, getting angry at people or isolating from others. All of these things have something in common - they are all avoidance tactics that try to push hard stuff away. Unfortunately they don’t work in the long run, as you’ve probably worked out.
The opposite action of this is to contact the present moment and allow your strong emotion to just be there, letting it come and go in it’s own time. Sounds hard? Well the other things haven’t worked for you so far so why not try something different.
Allow the emotion: Make space for the emotion that is welled up inside you and name it to tame it - “I am furious” or “I feel like a failure”. Notice where in your body you feel this - often it is a tightness in the jaw or a hard ball feeling in the chest. Let it flow through you like a river - very strong emotions seldom last longer than about 90 seconds.
Using your five senses, bring your focus back to where you are right now. If you are rural, you have an advantage because you have incredible sensory experiences literally right on your doorstep.
Sight: look at the photo of the muddy tractor wheel closely. Inspect the mud and the pattern of the tread like you have never seen anything like it before.
Sound: When you are outside - maybe you’re working or riding or taking the dogs for a walk. Listen to the bird song. The neighbour on their tractor. Your dogs scuffling and running. Your boots hitting the gravel.
Touch: Pick up a stone or a handful of grass. Feel the different textures and temperatures. Study them like a curious scientist.
Smell: What is in the air? Maybe it’s the smell of grass, dry feed, baleage or maybe you can smell your dogs or horse.
Taste: Do you still have tastes lingering in your mouth? Maybe you can pop a mint and really concentrate on the texture or the flavour.
Staying present helps us to see situations for what they really are. It brings us into this moment and focuses us on what is really happening, not what our minds tell us might happened or worrying about things that have happened in the past. Your mind and body will be in the same place at the same time. The simple exercise of the 5 senses above, will help you to get out of your head and away from dwelling on unhelpful thoughts.
I’ve just given you a crash course on mindfulness - notice I didn’t call it that in the title? I knew it would put you off :). You definitely don’t need to sit cross legged and meditate or be a Buddhist monk to use mindfulness. There is endless scientific research that using mindfulness can be life-changing for people who suffer anxiety and depression. You’ve got nothing to lose so give it a crack eh?
Questions? Comments? Email me at kathryn@kathrynwright.co.nz