What does help look like?

What does help look like?

“I’m wasting my time” she said. “I’ve been to so many counsellors and not one of them has helped me, and I bet that you won’t be able to help me either”. I looked at her and wondered to myself how much time has been spent on this young lady by so many mental health professionals - what went wrong? This is only a hypothetical question - I knew where the problem lay.

Like so many other clients, this young lady had expected each time that she would visit a counsellor, they would wave their magical wand and she would be forever cured of her ills. The truth is, that while metaphorically this girl was drowning in the ocean waiting for someone to throw a lifesaver, she was also completely ignoring the seven ropes thrown down to save her.

Going to see a counsellor will most likely involve doing some homework. It also involves being listened to and feeling really heard and understood. What works for you will depend on you. It might be journaling, looking after your physical health, practicing mindfulness, noticing and addressing unhelpful thoughts, getting back to your hobbies or socialising more. But guaranteed, nothing will work if you do not do anything. What will ultimately work for you might be a combination of any of these things, and it also might look like addressing or removing some things, such as substances or an unhappy life situation.

It’s what you do between sessions that counts. Take the ropes that are thrown to you.